scientists are baffled
men at large feel like they are being robbed of something when an attractive woman with a 90% chance of developing breast cancer gets a double mastectomy
what better illustration of the male sense of sexual entitlement do you need
a fic where your otp is making out and it’s getting pretty hot and heavy and they’re touching and grinding and clothes are coming off and one of them pulls back, panting and flushed, his hair sticking up in all directions and he says ‘condom?’ with a quirk of his brow and the other frowns and gets up and tears through his nightstand then underwear drawer and then bathroom and comes up empty handed and not having sex tonight is not. an. option. so they have to pull on their clothes and run out to the store and adjust their boners and half of your otp wants to pick the best ones for them so he reads all the boxes and compares different kinds of lube and ‘hey are we out of milk, too? i kind of feel like ice cream tonight. are those hot cheetos?’ and the other one is grumpy and huffing and picks up the first pack of condoms he sees and marches up to the check out counter because fuck ice cream he is so passing out when they’re done and they finally make it back home, rip open the box to find out they bought those neon colored flavored ones and they can’t help but laugh at all of their choices like banana twist and chocolate mint and grape and they end up using the entire pack over the course of the night except banana who even likes banana flavored stuff
ah, I love it when I get an essay back with notes like ‘good, but I wish you talked more about this!’ or ‘I like this idea, expand it!’
look at me
look at the wordcount
look back at me
do i look thrilled
more importantly, does that wordcount look like, say, the EXACT FUCKING MAXIMUM WORDCOUNT I CAN USE WITHOUT POINTS BEING DEDUCTED.
yes
yes it does.
Gentlemen. This is what rape culture is like:
Imagine you have a Rolex watch. Nice fancy Rolex, you bought it because you like the way it looks and you wanted to treat yourself. And then you get beaten and mugged and your Rolex is stolen. So you go to the police. Only, instead of investigating the crime, the police want to know why you were wearing a Rolex instead of a regular watch. Have you ever given a Rolex to anyone else? Is it possible you wanted to be mugged? Why didn’t you wear long sleeves to cover up the Rolex if you didn’t want to be mugged?
And then after that, everywhere you go, there are constant jokes about stealing your Rolex. People you don’t even know whistle at your Rolex and make jokes about cutting your hand off to get it. The media doesn’t help either; it portrays people who wear Rolexes as flamboyant assholes who secretly just want someone to come along and take that Rolex off their hands. When damn, all you wanted was to wear a nice watch without getting harassed for it. When you complain that you are starting to feel unsafe, people laugh you off and say that you are too uptight. Never mind you got violently attacked for the crime of wearing a friggin time piece.
Imagining all that? It sucks, doesn’t it.
Now imagine you could never take the Rolex off.
“He’s like fire and ice and rage. He’s like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun. He’s ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time and can see the turn of the universe. And… He’s wonderful.”
#
Interviewer: is that how you pick up girls?
Bradley: I actually pick up girls with various displays of origami.
Interviewer: You do not.
Bradley: Yes, I do. It’s quite a famous tactic here in England. The better you are at origami, the more women you attract.
Interviewer: And you’re sure it’s not because they recognise you from the show?
Colin: Well, generally they’re too distracted by the origami.
Bradley: Yes. My house is origami. I’ve got a car that I drove here today that is made from origami.
Interviewer: It must be very environmentally friendly.
Bradley: Yeah, big time.
Interviewer: Alright, Colin, coming back to Merlin - do you believe in magic?
Colin: After watching Bradley drive around in his origami car, I believe in everything.
Interviewer: Okay. Do you own anything origami?
Colin: No, I’m an origami wannabe. I’ve actually started up a support group because some people have a deficiency in their systems where they can’t actually fold things. I’m a part of that group, and it seems to affect people from Northern Ireland. Anyone prone to paper cuts shouldn’t even enter the origami game. It’s a rough industry and certainly if you don’t have thick skin, you’re going to lose.
Interviewer: Let us guess, we’re your first interview of the day, aren’t we?
Colin: Yes!
Interviewer: And this is how you like to start your day?
Bradley: …I usually start my day with origami.
“
| — | Best interview ever!!! (via bittsandstuff) |
